Nikki Bella.Photo: Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images
Nikki Bellais speaking out against the expectation for women to fit a certain physical mold after giving birth.
On Tuesday’s episode ofAshley Graham’sPretty Big Dealpodcast, theTotal Bellasstar and her twin sisterBrie Bellaopened up about all things motherhood, includingpostpartum depression,as well as the pressure, as Graham calls it, to “snap back” after giving birth.
“It’s such bulls—,” both sisters, 37, said before Nikki went on, “It messes with you, ‘cause [people are] like, ‘But how is she?’ Literally, someone the other day was like, ‘Gosh, she’s still big!’ and I was like, ‘Excuse me?’ "
The formerDancing with the Starscontestant explained that she has a “life coach” who has helped her come to appreciate her body since she and fiancéArtem Chigvintsevwelcomed sonMatteo Artemovichon July 31.
“She makes me grab parts of my body I don’t like and I say, ‘Thank you for creating Matteo and making him healthy,’ and appreciating and loving my body. And it is weird how, slowly, you start to love it,” Nikki said.
Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
Nikki has also been inspired to speak out about her battle with PPD because “what I’ve realized is, as moms, we don’t talk about that enough,” she said.
The mother of one previously gave a candid look ather experience with postpartum depression, revealing in late September in part that she had been feeling “super depressed” and the experience “knocked me on my ass.”
“We go from, like, these major careers, and then we’re here,” Nikki said. “And then I’m looking in the mirror and then I think, [with Brie and me] in the spotlight, we haveso much pressure on us to get backto where we were in a short amount of time.”
When her fiancé Chigvintsev, 38, returned from filmingDancing with the Stars, Nikki said shestarted to feel anger toward the Russian dancer, even though it wasn’t his fault.
“He’s like, ‘At times, I felt like you were starting to hate me.’ He’s like, ‘You could be mean.’ And I’m not gonna lie, I did have moments of being mean,” she recalled. “I did have moments when I looked at him and I hated him. It’s true. There were times I’d look at him and I’m like, ‘I think I hate you.’ "
She’s now in a better place and openly grateful for her relationship with Chigvintsev,recently calling hima “rockstar Daddy.”
source: people.com
